Grinding Gears
by FaithfulWhispers
Summary: Donnie's tired of how things have been for the last few years. His oldest brother isn't himself, and he's not sure why Mikey and Raph are tormenting him. Why doesn't anyone take his side? How exactly does Donnie handle this? A future AU *Warning: Contains darker themes. Also contains possible triggers.*
1. Chapter 1

The gears inside of Donnie's head whirred at top speeds. He could literally feel steam rising out of his head as his left eye twitched constantly. His face went twenty shades of red in the matter of seconds, and the hand that gripped his wrench trembled. Every single vein popped, and his muscles tensed up.

He was done.

Absolutely done.

"MIKEY!" he shouted at the top of his voice as his eyes locked onto his current project, completely in pieces.

Gears, wires and bolts were scattered all over the table, and even on the floor. Weeks of work, gone. He didn't care how or why. All he cared about was tearing Mikey's head off.

"For the last time, my lab is off-limits. My things are not your toys! Same goes for Raph!" He screeched as he threw his wrench against the wall. A clang echoed through his lab, followed by silence.

Donnie strained his ears for a few seconds to see if he could hear anything. A faint sound of snickering that could be heard when he concentrated hard enough. His eye started to twitch at a more rapid pace.

Now, it was on.

If the two of them were going to be jerks, then he was going to make it very clear that he meant business. That was the fifth invention they destroyed this month, and he wasn't going to let it slide, not when they were off laughing at about it.

He turned and snatched up another wrench from his workbench. Then he stormed out of the lab, slamming the door behind him. Donnie knew they had to be around somewhere, and kept his eyes peeled. As he made his way through the lair, he noticed a lot of things he had recently repaired were already broken. Each step thumped against the concrete, and his anger continued to rise.

Oh were they going to get it.

Again and again, for years his brothers have constantly used him for their needs. Ever since their father died, Karai left for Japan, and April went away for college, he had been stuck with them.

The first two years were hard, but now, it was just unbearable.

Normally, it would have been Leo's responsibility to put the two in line, but at the current moment, he was out of commission. He had been gravely injured during the fight against the Shredder. Then again, being thrown off a building will do that to a person. It was a miracle that he even survived at all.

Now, Leo just struggled to keep himself together. He took their father's death dramatically, and there were times he just couldn't function. Donnie tried to be understanding. He really tried.

However, it had been three years. Enough was enough. The random spells of depression and anxiety needed to stop. They had to move on. He needed to move on.

A drawn-out sigh passed his lips as he marched up to the dojo. Perhaps he should see if Leo would do something about it, rather than just sitting around doing nothing. Once he reached the door to the dojo, he pressed his foot onto it and slammed it open. He nearly kicked it off it's hinges with his anger at an all-time high.

Then he stepped into the dimly lit room and scanned it with his eyes. Sure enough, his brother was in there. Underneath the tree, Leo sat in deep meditation. Donnie stared at him for a moment, but his anger was just too much to handle. If anything in these last three years, he developed a nasty temper that could rival Raph's, or sometimes, even nastier.

With three brothers to look after, two of which always grinding against his nerves, things like that tend to happen. It was just when his brother sat around doing _nothing_ was when things would go sour.

"Leo!" He shouted as he stomped up to him in a fiery rage.

His brother refused to budge, remaining silent. The fact that his brother completely ignored him only grinded against his nerves. Donnie's reddish-brown eyes gleamed with fury as he shifted the weight of the wrench in his hand.

"Leo, I don't have the patience for this. Mikey, and maybe Raph, tore up my lab again. I'm done! Now are you going to do something about it, or am I? They won't like it if I have to deal with it." He ranted on in quick short breaths.

Again, no response.

Donnie wanted to take the wrench in his hand and bash it against his brother's skull, but logically, that would be considered misplaced anger. After all, Leo rarely left the dojo, only to go to his bedroom, or take care of some other necessity.

 _Of course he's not going to help me_ , Donnie thought to himself with distaste.

After glaring down at Leo, he couldn't stand the sight of his older brother anymore. With disgust, he spun on his heel and decided to pursue his other two brothers. After all, he could hear them laughing in the distance. His stomach tightened, and his eye continued to twitch. All those gears inside his mind were turning so fast that it made his skull feel on fire. He couldn't wait to get his hands on them.

Donnie made his way to the bedrooms. The ever-so-teasing laughter echoed from that direction. He readied the tool in his hand and sprinted. Once he made it to Mikey's door, he skidded to a halt and kicked it open.

Empty.

He stepped inside and glanced around. His reddish-brown eyes scanned the darkened pig-stye. No sign of his brother, but he could of sworn he heard the laughter emit from this room. A realization hit him, and threw a glare over his shoulder. _Raph._

As he turned to head to the next room, he heard the laughter once more, fueling his rage. He picked up his feet and slammed Raph's door open as well. His jaw tightened, and the twitch refused to cease.

Raph's room was empty as well.

Out of frustration, he lifted the wrench and swung it at the door frame. The impact jolted through his arm, but he didn't care. He was going to find them.

He was _sick_ of the games.

Laughter echoed throughout the lair, causing Donnie to twist his head towards the pit. They had to be somewhere close by. Shuffling his feet, he cleared his mind and focused on the sound. It was moving all over the place, and he knew his brothers were hiding in the shadows, taunting him.

However, the rage inside him continued to boil, spilling over the brim. He couldn't take it anymore, so he ran towards the center of the lair.

"Show yourselves. This is ridiculous!" He cried out, cutting the air with the tool.

His labored breaths filled the harsh silence.

Suddenly, he heard their voices echoing from the tunnel outside of the lair's entrance. A wicked grin spread across his face as fire burned in his reddish-brown eyes. He readied himself, gripping the wrench tightly in his hand as he stared down the entrance.

The laughter grew louder as they neared the entrance. Donnie heard Raph as well, and immediately he knew that he had also been in on it. As they turned the corner, he readied his muscles, preparing to pounce.

The moment they both came into view, he leapt through the air, slicing the wrench towards Raph's head. Just in the nick of time, Mikey pushed Raph out of the way. His brothers stumbled and gave him a bewildered look.

"Woah D, what's your problem?" Mikey asked as he cautiously raised his hands. A look of utter confusion shone upon his face, replacing the previous bewilderment.

Steam rose up out Donnie's head at the question as he regained his footing.

"My problem?" He sneered as he prepared to swing the wrench. "My problem is that you two boneheads trashed my lab and broke the invention I was working on!"

Then he took another swing at his brother, who flipped to the side.

"To make matters worse, you two had to play games with me!"

Mikey continued to evade Donnie's crazed swings. It was a lot of effort to control himself, because he really didn't want to hurt him. Raph on the other hand, he didn't mind making a few strikes at the taller turtle.

"What are you talking about? We haven't been in the lair all day!" Raph barked as he blocked a jab aimed towards his face.

Now all of Donnie's gears were turning so fast, that one actually fell of the track. He stumbled back and cringed. He could feel his mind breaking down as he tried to comprehend the situation. After all, his invention was fine before he left for his scavenge run. Wait, did he go on the scavenging trip? He did want a new bundle of copper wires, maybe a new batch of scrap metals, and even…

Suddenly, his thoughts scattered out and he realized that he needed to focus. Donnie gripped his head with his free hand. Every muscle trembled and he felt like his brothers were just trying to throw him off.

Finally, he snapped.

"You're lying! I clearly heard you two!" Donnie snarled as he lunged forward.

Raph sidestepped him and quickly got behind him. Then using the strength in his arms, he grappled Donnie, and put him in a headlock. The taller turtle tried his hardest to resist, even dropping the wrench to tug at the arm, but Raph's strength exceeded his own.

"Will you calm down?" He growled at Donnie.

"How am I supposed to calm down when you have me in a headlock?" The taller turtle gasped out in spite.

He continued to struggle, pulling and clawing at Raph's arms. Mikey took carefully thought-out steps towards him, his arms raised once more. Donnie's reddish-brown eyes locked onto him as he continued to resist his holder.

"He'll let you go when you calm down. Look D, we haven't been in the lair all day. So let's just calmly talk about it. Okay?" Mikey asked in a light tone with a sincere smile.

However, Donnie eased his eyes shut and continued to fight against the grip. He wasn't going to sit down and do anything with those two. They destroyed his things, played hide-and-seek with him, and now they were trying to deceive him.

Inside his mind, the gears continued to spin; one flew off, followed by another. His brain was literally melting and he couldn't properly string ideas together. What about his scavenge run? Wait no, there was always time for that. His invention that he worked many sleepless nights over? Well, that was in shambles and it was all their fault.

Then, Donnie heard it.

Emitting straight from Mikey was the faint sound of snickering. He knew it. They were messing with him! His eyelids flew open, and his rage energized him.

"Quit laughing at me!" He screeched as he dug into Raph's arm.

Raph could only hold him for so long and he could feel his hold starting to slacken. He tried his best to ignore the pain, but Donnie was relentless. His emerald green eyes shone with concern, but then he blinked as he shook his head.

"Look Mikey, we are going to have to do it again. I know I promised that we wouldn't, but he's just too out of it."

The youngest brother looked at the two struggling turtles and thought for a moment. His mouth became a hard line and he folded his arms across his plastron. Then he nodded with affirmation and sprinted off towards Donnie's lab.

As he waited for Mikey to return, Raph readjusted his hold the best he could and eased their bodies downwards. He was thankful that Donnie was skinnier and weaker than him, else it wouldn't work out so well.

However, his brother thought otherwise. Fear started to mingle with Donnie's rage. He didn't know what his brothers were planning, and frankly, it scared him. His heart rate elevated and his breathing quickened within the hold.

What exactly did he do to deserve this? He just wanted to have a normal day, but no, those two had to go and ruin it for him. Where was Leo? The one time he truly needed his brother, he was off hiding.

"Leo!" He cried in Raph's grip.

Before he could wait for his older brother, Mikey had returned with that familiar black gun. The gun _he_ made. The very weapon he made for their self-defense, and now they were going to use it on _him_?

As the last gear in his mind struggled to stay on it's track, he felt a sharp pain shoot through his arm. He could feel the very drug he created spilling into his bloodstream, and instead of staying calm, Donnie panicked.

"I'm so sorry, D," his younger brother whispered.

Honestly, he didn't believe it.

Donnie moved his lips and tried to speak out, but his speech was slurred as he struggled to keep his eyes open. He just felt really exhausted, and he felt his weight pull downwards as Raph eased up on his hold. The last thing he knew, he was falling to the ground.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Hey everyone! I hope y'all enjoyed the first installment of my newest fic. I'm seriously a glutton for punishment, because know I keep starting fics. However, I promise that I do work on each one. When I get stuck with one fic, I alternate to another. This idea was just too much to resist and y'all know how much I love Donnie. Special thanks to BelatedBeliever for checking the grammar. She's amazing! Well, feel free to leave reviews. I appreciate all/any feedback and I hope y'all look forward to the next installment. ^.^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: Hey everyone! I just want to thank y'all for the reviews, favorites and follows. It really means a lot. Also, special thanks to BelatedBeliever for checking over this for me. I really appreciate it. Well, happy reading ^.^**

* * *

As he tried to stir awake, Donnie could hear drowned out voices nearby. He felt an excruciating pounding in his head, and even the slightest movement made him want to hurl.

He couldn't quite fully grasp what was going on.

However, he laid still on what he assumed were the cushions in the pit. The gears within his mind started to slowly turn on their tracks, and it felt like the switches in his brain were being turned on one by one. He strained his hearing so that he could make out what the voices were saying.

" _Did you guys really have to tranq him?"_

" _Yes, Leo. He tried to murder us with a fucking wrench!"_

" _Well, he's your brother. You could have used a different method to calm him down."_

" _No, we couldn't. You weren't even there!"_

Donnie heard the voices grow louder and more agitated. Man, did his head hurt. All he wanted to go back to sleep. He tried to lift his head up, but decided that it wasn't worth the effort. What exactly happened? Why wasn't he working on his invention? He did go to the junkyard today for more parts.

Wait, did he go?

He faintly recalled the image of flying screws and sparks. Then it dawned on him that his work was completely wrecked. Weeks worth of endless nights went down the pipe. Instead of doing something about it, he was laying there napping.

Suddenly, it crashed down on him. Didn't his brothers just try and murder him?

Well, he wasn't quite sure. Everything felt so fuzzy and the voices kept growing louder.

" _Dude, he hasn't slept in days and you know his episodes happen when his stress levels go up! He was doing just fine until he had that stupid machine that he couldn't figure out!"_

Don shifted his weight. Stupid machine? He slaved for days over it. He knew it. Raph did break it. His brother wanted him to suffer.

Now, the gears were turning at a faster pace.

He ignored the nausea the best he could as he propped his weight onto his arm. Slowly, he eased himself up and lifted his head. The blurriness in his vision started to clear up. As he blinked and focused his sight, he saw that his brothers huddled close, eyeing him.

They were planning something, and it made Donnie feel uneasy.

A groan passed his lips as he slid his legs off the couch and planted both feet on the floor. Yep, he definitely wasn't napping. As he tried to refocus his mind, he barely recalled the tranquilizer gun. However, he also remembered Raph pinning him.

His stomach tightened and the speed of the gears went up another notch.

Mikey's face lit up with surprise and was the first to run up to him. He leaned forward and stared at his brother with those bright blue eyes.

"Woah D, easy there. Here, let me help you." Mikey said cautiously as he offered his hand out to him.

Donnie slapped Mikey's hand away. His left eye twitched slightly and his breaths came out as short huffs.

"Don't touch me! I don't want anything from you," he growled as he tried to steady himself to his feet.

He wanted to get away from his brothers and return back to his lab. There was work to be done, and he was tired of them tormenting him. Mikey tried to grab onto his arm, but Donnie shrugged off his grip.

"I said, Don't. Touch. Me," Donnie bit out as he turned away.

It was difficult for him to walk. The drug was still wearing off. Then it hit him. He was drugged. He was drugged by the very same person who was trying to 'help' him. The very notion made him feel worse than he already felt.

If anything, he needed to get away from them as fast as possible.

"Wait, Donatello!"

Instantly, Donnie ceased all his movements. His anger started to simmer as he clenched his fists. Standing firmly, he rolled his shoulders and turned his head till his reddish-brown eyes locked onto his older brother.

 _How dare he?_

"What, Leo?" He spat over his shoulder.

Leo didn't budge, unaffected by the tone of his voice. A sigh passed his lips as he narrowed his eyes.

"You need to stay here. We have to make sure you're alright." His oldest brother stated with an authoritative tone as he pointed down in front of him.

Donnie sucked his teeth and scowled. Seriously, how dare Leo act like he suddenly cares? Earlier he had ignored him and didn't even come to his rescue. Mikey and Raph could have murdered him, but no, he was off being selfish.

Struggling to contain his displeasure, he tore his eyes away.

"You don't give a shit about me, Leo. Now leave me alone. I have work to do!"

"Donnie, will you-"

He ignored his calls and scrambled towards his lab. His every step was shaky as he pressed himself forward. Running was still impossible, but he had longer legs than them. As he felt his brothers gaining on him, he managed to cling to the handle of his door and shoved it open. Slipping inside, he slammed his weight against the door, shutting them out. Then with quick reflexes of his fingers, he snapped the locks.

However, he still had another door to secure.

Within seconds, he wildly staggered over to the side door and locked it completely shut. Now no one could get in. He didn't trust them. The gears in his mind stayed at their current pace, but the anger was still there, deep down.

Wiping his face, he released a groan and leaned his shell against the large metal door. An irritable scraping sound filled his ears as he slid down to the floor.

He was just so exhausted.

When was the last time he slept? Wait, he just did. Well, then again he was drugged, and that doesn't count as sleep. However, Donnie really couldn't recall the last time he actually went to his room.

As he thought about it, he could hear the door where he shut them out pounding. There was no way he was going to go over there and let them in, not after what they did to him.

He barely recalled Leo's voice.

Oh right, he said he hadn't slept in almost a week. Why would he need to sleep anyways? Donnie wondered this for a moment before dismissing it. Then as he eased his eyes shut, he inhaled deeply and thought of what to do next. He wasn't quite sure. There was the invention he wanted to work on. Oh wait, that's completely busted. Rubbing his temples, he found it difficult to string thoughts together. There were calculations swimming all over the place and occasionally getting caught in a gear.

It didn't help that the pounding wouldn't go away. He could hear them shouting at him to let them in. Raph even threatened to break the door down. Huffing out, he tilted his head upwards. Donnie would have liked to see him try.

Then he heard it.

There was a faint sound of laughter.

His brothers were laughing at him, calling him a coward. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Couldn't they see that he didn't want to be bothered? After all, he locked them out for a reason. What exactly did he do to deserve this treatment?

As he stumbled with the questioning thoughts, Donnie tucked his knees closer to him. The laughter really did grind his nerves, but what angered him the most was that they destroyed his things and tried to hurt him.

Raph and Mikey were always doing things to him, and Leo just stands by and lets them.

Donnie knew it was because he was the easy target in the family. After all, he's not skilled enough, fast enough, or better yet, strong enough. Their father had died, and maybe if Donnie had been a better fighter, then maybe he wouldn't have.

Wait, did his brothers blame him for his death?

 _No, that's improbable. They're just out to get me_ , he thought to himself.

They've always been out to get him. Every single one of them.

He knew he was the freak, even within his little clan of freaks. Every ounce of kindness that was ever shone to him was fake. Imaginary even. Pressing his chin against his knee pads, Donnie tried to drown them out. The laughter grew louder, and it was almost unbearable.

 _They never cared about me._

A heavy breath passed his lips. The gears picked up speed, and he could feel his rage starting to rise up. He had to ignore them. They were just baiting him. There was no way he was getting up to open the door. Not for them. Not for anyone.

Finally, the gears started to whiz at higher speeds in his mind, and he couldn't even hold onto a single thought. The pounding grew worse, and that laughter; the laughter was just agonizing.

Donnie jerked his head up and flung his arm back, slamming the metal door behind him.

"Shut up and leave me alone!" He screamed into the air, nearly tearing his throat.

Then as if by some magic, at that very moment, the sounds completely ceased. Honestly, he could hardly believe it. Releasing a breath of relief, he wiped his face and stared up at the ceiling. His reddish-brown eyes glimmered within his dimly lit lab.

He sat completely still for a few moments, before leaning forward to rest his arms against his knees. The gears started to wind down towards a more leisurely pace, and he was starting to gather up his thoughts.

Then it clicked.

Maybe his invention could be saved.

Within seconds, Donnie lifted himself upwards and staggered over towards the broken machine. He thoughtfully eyed each piece and each wire. Ideas were cluttering in his head, and maybe, just maybe, he can finally tie them together.

With determination, he quickly knelt down and gathered up the parts in his hands. His muscles trembled in excitement as a toothy smile broke out on his face. He would fix it. All he needed to do was focus.

That's if he could.

At that moment, he thought of it as irrelevant and focused on the task in front of him. Distractions would only make things worse, and he was bent on making this work.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Well, I hope y'all liked the 2nd installment. I know I tend to do a lot of Donnie centered fics, but I feel like this one is really unique from the rest. I can't thank you all enough for reading this and to those who have been following me since my start here on FF, thanks. It seriously means a whole lot to me. I've grown so much over the past six months. Well, feel free to review. I appreciate all the feedback. Hopefully, the next installment will be out soon. ^.^  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: Hey guys, sorry I'm late on an update. I haven't been sleeping much lately, so anytime I've tried to go and write, nothing would come out the way I wanted it. However, I think I have it all together now and I want to thank Belated Believer once again. ^.^ Also, I really want to thank y'all for the rates and reviews. Well, I hope you all will like this installment. Happy Reading ^.^**

* * *

An eerie silence filled the air within the lair. Donnie's brothers stood close together, staring at the door. It had been over an hour since they heard anything from inside his lab. With concern etched onto their faces, they would glance at each other anxiously then back at the metal door. Both entrances were locked, and after Donnie randomly screaming at them, they were fearful of leaving the area unsupervised.

"What do ya' think he's doing in there?" Mikey whispered as he glanced up at Leo.

Leo slowly shook his head and folded his arms across his plastron.

"Honestly, I have no clue. I just hope he's alright. You two really screwed up."

"We screwed up? He's the one who attacked us!" Raph replied, cutting the air with his hand. Look of disbelief bursted onto his face.

His older brother narrowed his eyes at him, obviously losing patience. Then he shifted his weight, and tore his eyes away from Raph and stared at the door. "Yes, but you know how he's been. Now who knows how long it'll take before he comes out of there." Leo replied in a low voice.

Raph couldn't believe him. His emerald green eyes glimmered with annoyance, and he released a heavy breath. "Well, you should have done something if he was going crazy, Leo. Why do I get the feeling you're the one who started it?"

A minute passed as the question hung in the air. Then rubbing the back of his neck, Leo glanced back at him.

" I may have had a hand in it, but I figured if I ignored him and let him work it out of his system, he would have calmed down."

"He obviously didn't" Raph grumbled back.

Releasing a heavy breath, Leo shrugged off Raph's words. Honestly, it didn't matter at that point. There was nothing they could do about it now except wait.

* * *

Donnie stared down at the desk full of parts. His left eye was twitching ever so slightly, and he held a stern frown. He had started to wonder if it was even worth it. For hours he struggled with getting parts to link. The frustration of putting something together, only for it to collapse seconds later made him feel miserable.

Nothing was coming out the way it should.

The gears inside his mind struggled to stay at a consistent speed. They would wind up to higher speeds, then dip back down. Focusing was a major issue for him at this point, and he just wanted to take his invention and grind it into the ground.

Then again, didn't that already happen?

Suddenly, his eyes went wide. There was something pulling at him in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite grasp it. What happened, exactly? As he stared down at his failure of an invention, with gears and wires in a tangled mess, he tried to grasp onto a tangent of thought. However, it slipped from his grasp and flew off.

Like most of his thoughts now a days.

Seething with anger and frustration, he clenched his hands into a tight fist. None of this would have happened if his brothers had left his things alone. Heck, if they had left him alone. Their games and their smug attitudes only made him feel disgusted to his very core. One day, he'd make them pay, he silently thought to himself.

Every gear refused to settle, causing a minor ache in his temples. Just when he thought he could make sense of his thoughts, he was proven wrong. Him wrong? He honestly didn't want to admit it.

Taking his quivering hands, he cupped them against his face and stared down at the tools beside him. His wrenches and screwdrivers were all scattered out and his drill hung by its cord off the table. At this point, he wasn't quite sure what he was doing.

He inhaled deeply as he rubbed his hands against his cheeks. The tension within him gnawed at his nerves, making him want to scream. Why couldn't he get the damned thing back together?

Hell, what was it even supposed to do?

At that very thought, it felt like someone had punched him straight in the gut, causing the air to be sucked from his lungs. A cold chill shot down his spine as Donnie leaned forward. Was there even a real purpose? No, he refused to even think about it. Everything he ever did was always thought out and calculated. There was always a reason behind each action.

His breathing quickened and each muscle began to violently tremble. The gears were turning so fast, it made his brain felt heated, almost at its melting point.

 _Everything was fine until those two spoiled it._

Donnie collapsed down to his knees with his reddish-brown eyes gleaming with fury. His hands clenched into fists, and the harder he squeezed, the paler his knuckles became. With eyes darting left to right, his thoughts scattered out like shattered glass.

An uncontrollable rage rose up from deep within as the gears struggled to stay on track. Then instantly, one flew off while the others whizzed at top speeds. A cry of fury erupted from his throat as swung his left arm out and seized the cables splayed out in front of the machine. He used his strength to yank on the cords, causing the invention to crash down in front of him.

Screws flew by his face as he took his free hand down and struck it. Another gear fell of its track as he jerked forward and ripped the wires apart, causing sparks to shoot into the air. His anger continued to fuel him as he dug into it, shouting incomprehensible words.

Droplets of blood flung upwards as he thrusted a punch into the collapsing heap of gears and scrap metal. The warm droplets splashed onto his face, but Donnie didn't notice. His current mission was to take this _revolting_ invention of his and tear it down to each and every individual piece

Another gear fell off its mount at the same time he let out an ear piercing screech. Both of his hands had a burning, almost searing, sensation pulsing through them. His crimson blood continued to dribble down his hands as the sharp scraps of metal tore through his skin.

Then a realization hit him.

 _This wasn't what I wanted to do._

At that thought, he ceased all movements. A weak sigh passed his lips as he tilted his head upwards. His hands burned like crazy, and he could feel the heat rushing through his veins. Then as he brought his arms back to side, he noticed his throat was dry.

Everything began to ache.

Then that last gear started to slow its pace as Donnie eased his eyes shut. His breathing became shallow. Why didn't it just go his way? Something felt so familiar, but it was just out of his reach. He struggled to swim in his stream of thoughts, almost drowning.

Suddenly, a wave of fatigue crashed into him, making him feel extremely dizzy. As he leaned his weight back, he let out a slight snicker. _I guess this is why I needed sleep._ Struggling to fight off the exhaustion, he cracked his eyes open to a tiny slit and saw the pieces of the thing he was trying to fix laying all around him.

Another snicker broke from his lips.

 _Of course._

Before he could do anything else, Donnie managed to catch at least one coherent thought; to wrap his hands up. At least there was something he could manage to come up with. With weak legs, he pushed himself up onto his feet and dragged them over to his first aid kit he left laying out on his desk. As he propped the lid open, he felt something oddly familiar. In fact, it seemed like this had happened before, but honestly, Donnie just shrugged it off. The very thought was nonsense, and he needed to disinfect his hands.

As he pulled out the bottle of disinfectant, he noticed that the skin on his hands was all torn up. Many deep cuts ran through the length of his fingers, and there was blood welling up in his palms.

 _Great._

Inhaling deeply, he popped off the top and began to spray his hands. It stung, and the pungent scent filled his nose. As he covered the surface of the damage, he cringed at a thought that crept on by.

He was supposed to have wiped the blood away first.

Donnie sucked his teeth in annoyance and slammed the bottle onto the desk. Then he quickly snatched up a clean rag sitting in the kit, and proceeded to quickly remove the excess blood. The dark cloth became damp in his hands, but once he finished wiping up the last bit of blood, he tossed it aside and picked the bottle back up.

After he completed the round with the disinfectant, he set it aside and pulled out the bandages. His impatience was growing, and it was harder for him to stay focused. Honestly, he just wanted to sleep, but common sense told him to take care of his wounds first.

He quickly wrapped the bandages around his hands until they met with the wraps around his wrists. As he eyed the bandages, he thought they looked tacky, but at least it would suffice. Then closing the first aid kit, he eyed his swivel chair. Honestly at the moment, it looked extremely comfortable, but as he made his way over to it, a loud bang sounded at the door.

Immediately, Donnie threw a glare over his shoulder at the sealed door. Laughter echoed into the room, and he could hear them hackling him. They knew that he screwed up, because they set him up for it. The whole thing was their fault.

The anger within him reared its head once more, and the very last gear picked up its speed. Just as he spun on his heel to march up to the door, a spell of dizziness was casted onto him. He nearly lost his balance, but he stomped his right foot forward to catch himself.

They would have to wait.

There was no way Donnie could take them on with his current state. He needed to sleep, but that laughter pulled at him, making him want to bash their faces together. Also, they pounded on that door relentlessly, baiting him to come out.

Rolling his shoulders, he let out a grunt and glanced around the room. There had to be something in there he could use to block out the sound; anything would help. Over on his workbench, he spotted the oversized headphones he uses when he's working with ear piercing tools.

He then dragged his feet over to them and snatched them up. Then with care, he slid them on and adjusted them until he could no longer hear a thing. A sigh of relief passed his lips and he smirked.

The gear immediately slowed its pace.

Now that the world around him was silent, he felt like he could pass out right there, but instead he stumbled over to his swivel chair and collapsed right into it. The chair creaked under his weight as he shifted and adjusted himself. It wasn't as cozy as his bed, but he couldn't leave.

He didn't trust them.

His lab was much safer, after all. Donnie had the doors reinforced, so there was no way Raph could bust it open. However, he shrugged them off. The time would come when he would make them suffer for once.

 _Hmmm, I wonder how much they'll enjoy being tranquilized?_

As the thought crept through his mind, his eyelids became heavy. A yawn broke free from him, and then leaned his head back, preparing to sleep. Each gear lined themselves back onto their mounts, preparing to work at any moment.

Finally, some peace.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Well, things are starting to develop and the mystery is slowly unwinding. However, I'm not going to reveal everything right away, but I hope y'all enjoyed it. :) I'll try and get the next update out as soon as I can. ^.^ Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

"DONNIE, OPEN UP!"

Raph kicked the door with all of his strength, only to fail at busting open the door. When he drew his left leg back and prepared for another blow, Leo shoved him aside.

"Stop that! That's not going to work!"

Immediately, Raph's emerald green eyes lit up with fury. "This is all your fault, Leo. You should have handled it before it got this bad. He could be killing himself in there!"

He elbowed his older brother away and slammed his shoulder into the door. If anything, he was determined to bust it open. Leo slammed his foot to the ground and snapped his head towards him.

"Raph-"

"Quit it, you two!"

Mikey's cry broke the tension, and they held all their movements. Then, they slowly glanced back at him and saw that his face was scrunched in fear.

"Look, can't Leo cut the door open with his katanas?" He asked in a hushed voice.

Leo dropped his jaw at the suggestion and gasped. That very thought hadn't even occurred to him. Mikey's solution was probably the best. As he thought about it for a few seconds, he stood up straight and rubbed his temples.

"I could tr-"

Before he could even finish his statement, a sharp grating sound could be heard. Leo cringed and swung around on his heel, only to find Raph digging into the door with his sais.

"Raph!"

The hotheaded turtle strained the muscles in his arms as he dug the sais upwards, trying his hardest to cut through the thick plated metal.

"You were-" he jerked one out and drove it right back in. "-too slow," he huffed out.

However, Leo narrowed his eyes at his arrogant brother and rolled his shoulders. He slowly reached behind his shell and drew his weapons out. Honestly, Raph's method would take too long. It was like watching a child struggle opening a can with a knife.

He shifted the weight of the weapons in his hands and eyed the door carefully. Dim light was seeping in from the holes Raph had already carved out, so he decided he would start from there. As his brother prepared to jam his weapon into the door once more, Leo swept his foot upwards and kicked him aside, causing Raph to curse him. He ignored him as he twisted around and aimed a fluid swing at the door.

Its sharp slice rang through the air, followed by a crash as a panel slammed into the ground. Leo immediately lifted his foot back up and kicked in the other panel, creating a loud metallic bang. He desperately hoped that the commotion didn't startle Donnie. That was the last thing they needed.

As he eased his weapons back into their sheaths, he slowly stepped inside while keeping a signal up for the other two to stay put. He twisted his neck and a surge of relief ran through him. There at his desk, Donnie laid asleep.

Finally.

A heavy breath passed his lips as he shifted his weight between his feet. Now, there was another issue. Leo then took a step back, and brought his finger to his lips, letting Mikey and Raph know to stay quiet. After all, who knows what'll wake Donnie, and now, there was trouble brewing.

Leo instantly regretted breaking open the door.

He slowly backed out of the lab, and grabbed Mikey by the arm, then motioned for Raph to follow. The hotheaded turtle frowned, but followed without a word. The three of them made their way to the dojo, and Leo shoved them inside, closing the door behind them.

Throwing a glance over his shoulder, he quietly said,"Guys, he's asleep. However, we just made a big mistake."

Raph shook his head in disbelief as he folded his arms across his plastron. "Oh, and making sure Donnie was alright was a mistake?"

"Yes, because now he's going to flip when he sees the door, and knowing him, he'll blame you two. So, I suggest you two get out of sight and let me handle it," Leo hissed quietly with an impatient look etched on his face.

"Yeah, alright. I'm sure you can handle it, just like you did earlier," his brother retaliated, rolling his eyes at him.

Leo burrowed his face into his hands and inhaled deeply. Honestly, he knew Raph had a point, but that was over with and they needed to work together on this. As he exhaled, he lifted his head and looked straight at him.

"Just listen to m-"

He was cut off the be the sound of a blood curdling screech. His indigo eyes went wide as he stared at the two of them, and whispered, "Too late".

* * *

Every gear was whizzing at top speeds, barely contained on their mounts. His reddish-brown eyes gleamed with rage, but he remained where he was. Alone. Well, at least he assumed he was alone.

Donnie curled up into his chair as he stared at his door with disbelief. He wasn't sure what stunt Mikey and Raph were trying to pull now. His eye began to twitch as he darted his attention to the shadows of his lab.

Perhaps, he wasn't alone after all.

All the work that he put into his invention was a waste, but now even his door had been compromised. Fear reared its ugly head and caused his heart to race.

Now, it was on.

With trembling fingers, he pulled off his headphones and cast them aside. He would need his hearing, but the moment he did, there was a faint sound of snickering. Every single part of him wanted to leap into the shadows and kill them.

However, killing them would be wrong.

Making them suffer, not so much.

Now that he knew his lab was no longer safe from their reign of terror, he carefully eased himself out of his chair, eyeing his equipment. There were ideas forming in his mind, but the ability to properly select one was rather difficult.

The gears were whirring so fast, that he couldn't even keep his concentration. Oh, was he angry. Then again, angry couldn't even begin to describe the wave of emotions he was feeling. All he knew at that instant, was that everything had been compromised.

 _This is why I shouldn't sleep. Who knows where they are, but I can hear them mocking me._

As he clenched his teeth, he felt a burning sensation pulse through his hands. He had completely forgotten about the shape that they were in. Then again, why would he? His brothers were the source for all his pain. They set him up.

Now, it was his turn.

Taking carefully thought out steps, he quietly made his way to his stock of chemicals. He should have some tranq darts made up. Ones that he could use as revenge. When he reached the cabinet, his left eye twitched at a faster pace, and he made a sour expression.

There were none.

He thought about it for a moment and realized the last one had already been used. Those two used it on _him._ Clever. They had planned all of this out. Suddenly, a teasing laugh echoed into his lab.

Yup, he wasn't alone.

They were watching him.

Fury rose up within him, causing the gears to work even harder. What did he even do to deserve this? As he thought about it, he glanced over his shoulder at the door way. His stomach tightened at the fact they got through his reinforcement. Who knows what else they were capable of?

Donnie immediately smacked himself in the face. He _knew_ their full capability. Why should he be surprised? They did take out the Shredder after all, but at the cost of his father's life. A broken laugh passed his lips at the memory.

 _If only he was still here._

Another wave of laughter broke through the air, causing Donnie to pull away from such thoughts. The laughter was painful to listen to, and he had enough. There wasn't enough time to conjure up another tranquilizer, but he was just as well trained as the rest of them.

His attention turned to the bo that rested in the corner opposite from him. He eyed it wearily before glancing down at his own body. At the current moment, his hands were in a sorry state, and the same could be said about his physique.

When was the last time he had a proper meal? Well, he did eat that slice of anchovy pizza last night. Wait, did he or was that the night before? He did recall training with Leo not too long ago. Or did he?

All of his thoughts and memories became muddled. It was becoming more and more difficult to sift through them all and that greatly aggravated him. Him, struggle with his mind? He could scarcely believe it. After all, he was a mastermind.

Well, he was until those two messed with him.

They broke him.

One of the gears stuttered as it clung for dear life on its mount. His mentality was beginning to crumble, and Donnie struggled to keep it together. Everything felt so wrong. It was as if the foundation of his very being was chipping away, ever so slowly.

Once more, he heard their cackles, louder than ever.

Within a split second, the gear flew off, and his attention snapped. Then using the muscles in his legs, he dashed over towards his weapon and snatched it up without stopping as he pivoted towards the doorway.

He jumped over the sliced pieces of the door, and then planted his feet on the cold, hard floor. His eyes shifted their attention left to right, trying to focus in on where they were. The two of them were obviously hidden in the shadows, but he was determined to face them.

"Just what are you trying to pull?" He growled into the darkness of the lair.

Donnie noticed that they had cut off every single light. However, he was unimpressed. Gripping his staff tighter in his hands, he carefully inched towards the pit. He lingered there for a moment, waiting for an opportunity. The moment he heard some shuffling, he whipped his head towards the dojo, and wicked smile spread onto his face.

Now, he knew where they were lurking. Without a moment's hesitation, he bounded towards the door and slammed his foot into it. It went flying inwards and skidded across the mats. Then sticking to the shadows, he crept inside and strained his ears for any signs of life.

A few seconds passed and there wasn't a sound to be heard. Frustration boiled up inside of him as the gears refuse to settle. He honestly had no idea what kind of trickery they had come up with, but every fiber of his being hated it.

At this point, he _hated_ them.

Shifting his weight, he glanced around anxiously. They could be anywhere now, and for all he knew, they could be setting him up for a trap. A groan rumbled deep in his throat as his eased his eyes shut. Donnie knew he needed to focus and rely on his training.

After all, Master Splinter had taught him well.

However, he never thought he would use it against his own brothers. He clenched his jaw as he released the blade at the end of his bo and flicked eyes open. Even in the darkness, it's bright metal casted a glint of light. As he gazed into the sharp blade, he noticed movement within its reflection.

Slowly, he turned his head and sneered into the darkness. They were closer than Donnie had anticipated. The remaining gears immediately stabilized on their brackets by spinning at a consistent speed. For the first time in days, his thoughts were coming together in neat package.

Suddenly, he snapped his arms upwards and twisted his body around. Then with ease, he sliced through the air with his naginata. He felt the weapon jerk in his hands as he heard a sharp clang. His blade had been knocked away by Raph, and immediately, he sensed another presence trying to sneak up behind him.

Donnie sucked his teeth in annoyance and tucked his weapon in closer to him. Then he side-stepped and rotated around, sweeping the end of his blade outward. However, the moment the blade collided with its target, dread seeped into him. Mikey wrapped a chain around his weapon and proceeded to rip it out of his grip.

Now, Donnie was defenseless. All he had now were his own hands.

He glared at his bandaged hands and grimaced. In the end he decided that would be sufficient enough, and jabbed right into the darkness. There was a blur, and the next thing he knew, he felt one of his brother's hot breath against his neck. Only one of them was tall enough for that, and so, Donnie cringed.

 _Traitor_ -

His train of thought was cut short. A sharp pain jolted through his head and seeped down into his spine. Now, he was completely defenseless at their hands as his mind faded into the darkness.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things got a little intense here, but it was a thrill to write. I just want to thank you all for reading and following me up to this point. I also want to thank you all for the favorites and the reviews, the feed back means a lot to me. I'm not ready to give it all away just yet, but the story is unraveling. There's definitely something wrong here. Well, I'll try to get the next installment out as soon as I can. Thanks again everyone ^.^  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes: Hey everyone! I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating much. I've had real world things happen. I also haven't been sleeping well. But, I have also been working on Torn Ties. The fic is currently being edited/rewritten. So, that's why I haven't updated it in a long time. Also, I've been working with BelatedBeliever with our fic "Consuming Darkness".**

 **On another note: I would like to thank everyone for the follows, favorites, and reviews. I really appreciate it and it makes me really happy to have all of your support. It means a lot to me. Also, I would liked to thank BelatedBeliever for being my Beta on this. ^.^ She's amazing! Well, happy reading!**

* * *

Donnie collapsed right into Leo's arms. His body was limp and practically lifeless. A look of heavy regret settled onto the blue masked ninja's face as he adjusted his hold on his younger brother. The katanas had fallen to the ground, long forgotten.

There was tension in the air as the other two brothers stared at him with wide eyes. Both of their jaws gaped open, but were unable to say a thing.

What just happened?

Before Raph could even say a word, Leo leaned Donnie's body back and tucked an arm under his legs while using the other to support him by the shell. The taller turtle's arms hung and swayed as if he were a ragdoll.

Leo refused to even peek down at his brother's face. He didn't want to see the torment that had been imprinted on it. His indigo colored eyes brimmed with water as he took a staggered step forward.

Donnie felt so light in his arms; so frail and thin.

"Leo!"

The oldest turtle glanced over his shoulder till his eyes met Raph's emerald green gaze. They burned with a fiery rage, but Leo refused to back down. He just simply shook his head and mouthed the words "not now".

The hotheaded turtle raised a clenched fist and twisted his face with anger. "Whaddya' mean not now! You just knocked him out! I thought we were just going to disarm him!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Look Raph, we've done enough damage. Let me clean up the mess."

Then without another word, Leo carried his younger brother out of the dojo. He was thankful it was dark in the lair. The shadows obscured Donnie's face, which made the load on his shoulders just a little lighter.

Not that he deserved it anyways.

Donnie's legs dangled, occasionally hitting Leo's side. He didn't mind however, since his brother was now helpless in his hands. As he replayed the scenes from in his mind, he clenched his teeth and kept his head up.

He never meant for any of this to happen.

He never wanted it to go this far.

Honestly, Leo wasn't sure what to do anymore. There was no one left to give him guidance or provide wisdom. Everything had to be figured out on his own. At this point, he was at his limit.

The thoughts began to weigh down his heart, causing an ache to radiate within his chest. All he wanted was to be there for his brothers; to give them the support they needed. This time, he failed at it. Not only this time, but also during the last few episodes.

Leo wasn't quite sure how to handle them anymore.

 _I shouldn't have tried to make him sleep. If I had only left him alone and allowed him to collapse on his own, then maybe he wouldn't have snapped…_

Immediately, he shook his head and cleared himself of such thoughts. He had to perform his duty as head of the clan, so he didn't have the luxury to dwell on things.

 _What's done, is done, just keep going…_

The corner of his lip twitched at the thought. Perhaps, Master Splinter would have said something similar to him in this current situation. Easing his eyes shut, he pictured his father gazing down at him with a soft, warm expression.

Water suddenly broke free from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, damping the mask. No, he shouldn't cry. It was time to buckle down and take care of his little brother. After all, he had played a hand in tonight's event and did more harm than good. Donnie needed him, just as he always had.

As soon as Leo's focus snapped back to attention, he realized he was standing at Donnie's bedroom door. He wasn't quite sure how long he had been standing there, but it had been long enough. There was no telling when Donnie would stir from his unconscious state, so time was of the essence. Using careful hands, he shifted his younger brother until he was supporting him with a single arm. With how light his brother had become, it was a fairly easy task.

The very fact made his stomach tightened.

He eased the bedroom door open. It creaked on its hinges, which echoed throughout the lair. The lair felt so dark and lifeless. Everything seemed so bitter, bland, and even bleak. Tonight's episode had caused so much tension to run thick within the air, Leo hadn't felt anything like it in a long time.

This time, it had went too far.

A breath escaped from Leo as slowly carried his brother into the bedroom. As he glanced around, he remembered it had been a long time since he had even step foot in there. The room was dusty as well as a complete mess. There were half finished projects scattered around, notes with illegible scribbles, and books every where.

As he made his way towards the bed, he side stepped past a few piles of books. Then he nearly tripped over some sort device that was only partially worked on. What happened to the neat and organized Donnie that he grew up with?

No, he would worry about that after his brother was settled. Once he reached the bed, he eyed the comforter. There were traces of dust on it. When was the last time Donnie actually came in here to sleep? He never knew his brother to neglect his health to that degree.

Using a quick swipe of his hand, he knocked the dust off; it scattered outwards and drifted through the air, but at least Donnie would have a clean surface to sleep on for the most part. Then taking his brother, he carefully lowered him to the bed. His head lolled to the side, and his jaw hung open.

Even though it was dark in the room, Leo still got a look at his brother's expression and it caused his stomach to turn over under his plastron. He jerked his head up and released a heavy breath.

Man, did he feel awful.

Then after gulping down some air, he braced himself and looked down towards Donnie's face. With steady hands, he removed the mask and soaked in the sight. The darkness didn't hide the fact that his skin was slightly pale with his cheeks slightly sunken in. Puffy bags hung underneath his closed lids; a sign of sleep deprivation.

Leo furrowed his brow and leaned closer to adjust his brother's unconscious body. After all, it was the least he could do for him. He placed Donnie's hands on his plastron and propped his head with a pillow. At least his neck wouldn't hurt so bad when Donnie stirs awake, Leo thought to himself.

Once he managed to help his brother the best he could, he straightened himself and glanced back at his face one last time. The pain in his chest worsened and tears welled up in his eyes.

 _Father, I-I failed_ , he thought to himself as he tore his eyes away.

Leo had to get out of the room. It was just too difficult for him to bear. As he stumbled over the same equipment he nearly tripped on earlier, he fell face first into the ground. The impact shot through his body, but he withstood it and gathered himself to his knees.

After he reoriented himself, his eyes locked onto some crumbled paper beside him. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around a wad of paper tightly. Then he hoisted himself to his feet and began to work the paper with his fingers.

It crinkled and made an irritable noise, but Leo didn't care. As the ball came undone, he continued to smooth it out, until it was at least readable. His eyes scanned the paper, and it turned out, it wasn't very readable. What he could make sense of only made his heart ache.

He had neglected his brother long enough.

Something within him stirred as he glared back up the bedroom door. Things were going to change. Hopefully, they would change for the better. No longer would he play as a bystander. With the newfound determination setting its course through him, Leo marched out the bedroom door.

* * *

Donnie stirred within his bed. He tried to open his eyes, but they didn't cooperate with him. The gears refused to budge and he wasn't quite sure what was going on.

There was something pulling at him, calling to him, but he couldn't grasp it. He was so confused and he couldn't even pluck at a single thought. What exactly was going on? Where was he? Mustering up some energy, he struggled to open his eyes just a crack.

Everything was dark, but blurry. Comprehension was still out of his reach as he continued to force his eyes open. Slowly, but surely, his sight was starting to clear up. Then, a switch in the back of his mind flickered on.

His bedroom.

How on earth did he even get here?

Another switch flipped and the ideas started to stream in. One by one, inaudible thoughts flew on by. His eyes focused in on the bookshelf across from him. Most of the shelves had been stripped bare. All that was left was his collection of dictionaries that he had accumulated all these years. The corner of his lip twitched at the thought of the nostalgia.

Though, he still couldn't quite understand why he was laying in bed, when he should be in his lab working. There was a lot of work to be done and he hated sitting around doing nothing. After all, he was almost on the verge of a breakthrough. Something amazing.

Suddenly, an image popped into Donatello's mind and it caused the gears to slightly turn. As he tried to lift himself, his neck ached and was practically stiff as board. What happened? If he was actually asleep, then why was he sleeping in this awkward position? He never rested his hands on his plastron, and the only time he ever fell asleep lying on his shell was when he was reading.

Who put him here?

Was it Raph?

No wait, something else tugged at his mind. Donnie wasn't quite sure what. But, it was there. Lurking. Ugly thoughts reared its head as the gears finally turned on their tracks with ease. His heart began to race as he grappled with an idea and analyzed it.

As he played and toyed with it, he bit down on his lower lip and glared up towards the ceiling. It couldn't have been, he thought to himself. However, how often was Donnie wrong? Though, he could scarcely believe it.

In the end, all the facts were there.

His stomach lurched and gargled, but he felt so nauseous. The one person he thought he could rely on, turned his back to him. No, more like stabbed him the back.

 _Traitor._

The moment that thought crossed his mind, he thought he heard something. He cringed, causing the ache to radiate down his shell. No, he needed to suck it up and move. Well, at least move in a more comfortable position.

Every muscle felt weak as he tried to scoot himself upwards. His joints cried out in protest as each fiber of his muscle trembled from fatigue. It took everything Donnie had to lift himself upwards until his shell was resting against the headboard. Sure, it wasn't as comfortable as he would have liked, but it was better than before.

The gears kept on turning unhindered. Thoughts kept floating on by as well, but he didn't care at the moment. All he cared about was sitting there, keeping himself steady. After all, he practically had very little energy left in his system and his body ached.

There was one person he thought he could rely on, and it turned out, Donnie really couldn't. He tried so hard to be understanding of Leo and this was how his brother repaid him. Seriously, what did he do to deserve this? Suddenly, it all clicked. Everything finally made sense.

Leo was never on his side.

Donnie's face scrunched up into scowl as his eyes pierced the door. His breathing became shallow and the muscles in his arms tensed up, much to his displeasure. Raph and Mikey must've won him over awhile back. After all, it could explain why Leo usually let them torment him. He must've enjoyed watching him suffer.

A chuckle echoed into the darkness of his room, causing Donnie to cringe. Sure enough, they were on the other side of his door, mocking him. Their grotesque cackles really irritated him, which made the gears go up another notch.

Honestly, he just wanted some peace, but they wouldn't ever let him have it. Not when he was such easy prey to them. Donnie was always the weak one, and so, he wholehearted believed that they hated him for what had happened.

So now, they've been taking it out on him for these last few years.

Donatello felt more vulnerable than ever.

Then the snickering and belittling grew louder and louder. It bounced around in his ears and made his head pound. Inside his mind, the gears just kept spinning and spinning. He had so much to endure, and yet, he felt himself crumbling under all the pressure.

As a last resort, he tried to ignore it by thinking positively. Although anytime he tried to grab onto a train of thought, it became muddled and confusing. The irritable noises just would not cease. His eye was now beginning to twitch, but the random spasm only worsened when he heard them relentlessly taunt him.

No, he would not take their bait this time.

He had nothing left. No energy. No peace. And certainly, he had no one.

Donnie slowly lifted his legs and drew them in close. He just wanted to stay in his bed; it was where he felt safest. Then, he wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his head against the headboard. The gears were grinding as he listened to all the noises that crept into his room.

In the end, he would have to wait for everything to settle before he would even dare to leave.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Well, I hope you all enjoyed this installment. Now, things are starting to come together and the plot is getting thicker. Honestly, I really enjoy writing this fic, since it's a different tone than I'm used to. However, I can't thank you all enough for reading and following. Feel free to leave feedback ^.^ I'll get the next update out as soon as I can.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes: Hey everyone! I finally have an update for y'all! Yay! Also, I can't thank you all enough for following, and the favorites, and reviews. All the support and feedback has meant a lot to me and I hope you all continue the story. Also, special thanks to BelatedBeliever for betaing this chapter. She's amazing! :)**

 **Anyways, I'll stop blabbing now and let you read. Happy Reading ^.^**

* * *

Everything seemed so wrong. So terribly wrong. Donnie stared at his bedroom door, wanting to leave, but yet, wanting to stay in his spot up against the headboard. His expression was dull, nearly lifeless, with not even a frown upon his face. Deep, dark bags hung underneath his reddish-brown eyes, which he refused to even close.

He was just so very tired.

Tired of everyone and everything.

Releasing a heavy breath, he burrowed his face into his bandaged hands. The gears within his mind spun and spun at a steady pace. They turned and twirled without stopping or stuttering, a constant flow where everything seemed alright- only nothing was alright.

Nothing was fine.

The noises outside of his bedroom refused to cease, and he had given up on trying to ignore them. He listened as his brothers taunted him and beckoned him, trying to belittle his existence. Sure, he wanted to take a screwdriver and drive it right into each of their thick, obnoxious skulls, but he knew he wouldn't stand a chance.

He really never stood a chance, but now, his chances of even getting payback was nonexistent. There wasn't a stable enough ground for him to hold his own. And so, he sat all alone within the darkness, listening to their gruesome voices as he let his intangible thoughts pass through him.

Maybe he would get up later and work on something, anything to keep himself busy. But as of right now, he didn't feel like doing much of anything; not even sleep.

* * *

Leo stood at Donnie's door with stress clinging to his shell. He and his family, as well as Casey, were gathered in front of his bedroom, trying to appeal to deranged genius. It had been two days since the incident, and his little brother had refused to leave. He wouldn't answer the door, nor open it, and if Leo even went in there, he wouldn't budge from the spot on his bed.

Things weren't going so well, and he had never ran into this issue before. Usually, things would settle over and Donnie would go hide out in his lab, but this time, he had become much more reclusive without even setting a foot out of his room.

Tilting his head downwards, Leo started running through ideas in his mind. In his hands, he carried an old metal tray with food on it. There were two slices of pizza- with anchovies- and a glass of water. However, the pizza had gotten cold, the cheese no longer gooey. Donnie would not respond, no matter how hard Leo had begged.

The situation had grown too much for him to handle, and Leo was practically at the end of his rope. It didn't help that Raph was practically breathing down his neck while Mikey was doing an ansty dance between his feet next to him; and the fact that Casey was humming. None of them were doing much to help the situation.

Then a sigh passed Leo's dry, cracked lips as he turned his head towards Casey. Neither him or Raph were able to get through to Donnie, so they thought asking him to come down would help. Though, his brother wouldn't come to the door for him either.

A few seconds passed as Leo stared up at the vigilante. He seemed elsewhere within his mind, and frankly, it pissed him off. Here he was struggling, while his friend was taking it easy. Then narrowing his eyes at him, he lifted the tray and nudged him with it.

"Here, make yourself useful and take this in there. He _needs_ to eat," Leo ordered in an aggravated tone.

Casey looked back down at him and rolled his eyes. "Man, I really don't see the issue here. He locks himself away all the time. Like, ever since that day, he's always had a few loose screws. He'll come around like he always does."

The carefree attitude of his friend only fueled his agitation. He hadn't been there. He hadn't seen the damage. For once, he wanted Casey to take things seriously. After all, why did he even come down here? This wasn't going to be a play date. They called him down here so that he could help.

"Look, it's not like the other times. He hasn't eaten in _days_ and he's only gotten _worse_. He won't trust any of us, but you actually have a shot at getting through to him. Now go in there and make him eat!"

"Okay, okay! Chill!" Casey replied, throwing his hands in the air.

Then as he huffed out a breath, he relieved Leo of the tray. Deep down, Leo wasn't sure if this was going to work, but he had desperately hoped so. After all, his brother needed help.

At this point, he was desperate to try anything in order to help him. It was his job as head of the clan to make this work, he thought to himself as he watched Casey slide into the room.

* * *

Donnie jolted his head upwards when he heard the bedroom door creak. Light started to seep into the darkness of his room, causing his heart rate to quicken. He tensed up the muscles in his legs as he scooted himself into a smaller ball.

Why wouldn't they leave him alone?

What had he ever done to them?

He narrowed his eyes as a tall lanky figure slithered in. It definitely wasn't one of his brothers, but, it wasn't a person he was too happy to see either. Donnie sucked in a breath of annoyance as Casey shut the door behind him.

 _What does he want?_

Then, Donnie felt the gears studdering as he eyed the vigilante with caution. Frankly, he wasn't in the mood to deal with him and his nonsense. He wasn't in the mood for any visitors, especially Casey.

"Dude, when was the last time you even _cleaned_?" Casey complained as he sidestepped a pile of books.

Cringing at the sound of his voice, he then tilted his head up and groaned. Honestly, he couldn't fathom why he was even in here. Heck, it had been nearly a month since they last spoke, and frankly, he hadn't minded it one bit. He was so consumed with his work that he couldn't be bothered.

Though, his work was destroyed.

Nothing was coming out the way he had wanted, he thought to himself as he watched him step around the piles of his work. Work he slaved for months over. Then again, what work? All Donnie knew was that he was being bothered and it greatly irritated him. Though, he was happy that the voices had dissipated, finally.

"Look bro, I brought you some food."

Donnie snapped out of his thoughts, or at least stopped paying attention to them once he realized the vigilante was holding out a tray.

"I don't want any. I'm honestly not hungry, so leave," he replied in a tiresome tone.

Casey scrunched his eyebrows together and stuck out his lower lip. "Aw man, don't be like that," he said, tilting his head to the side.

Donnie didn't even reply as he sat the tray at the foot of his bed. He eyed it wearily and wasn't really interested. In fact, he wasn't lying when he had stated that he wasn't hungry; and the food just looked simply unappetizing as he gazed at it. Within his mind, the gears were still spinning, but stuttering ever so often.

His thoughts were starting to jumble again as he listened to the sound of Casey's uneven breathing. Why wouldn't he leave? He brought him the food, so he had fulfilled his purpose. However, he was still standing there, gawking at him like an idiot.

Wait, why did Casey bring him food?

Suddenly, his reddish-brown eyes grew wide as he thought about it. Why was Casey even here? And why was he suddenly doing him favors?

As Donnie tried his hardest to wrap his mind around it, the gears went up another notch. He couldn't really quite comprehend and that irritable breathing only made it harder to think. His thought process went into overdrive as his pink tongue protruded from the corner of his locked lips.

Then within a fraction of a second, a thought crept into him, chilling him to his core. After all, Casey had entered the room the moment the voices had ceased. The moment his brothers had left the door.

They had called him here.

They had sent him to bother him.

Honestly, it sickened him. It was bad enough that Leo wouldn't leave him alone, but now he's sending Casey in here to bother him? Why wouldn't anyone leave him be?

There were so many whys that Donnie couldn't even begin to grasp. His head was starting to become cluttered with questions and thoughts, causing the gears to keep getting caught. Then as he threw a glance up at him, he felt his stomach churn. He couldn't stand to see the smug look on his punkish face. The way his beady eyes looked down at him with contempt.

Uncurling from his ball, Donnie felt every fiber of his muscles screaming at him in protest. He had sat still in that position for so long, it had physically hurt to unwind. But, he needed to withstand the pain. He needed Casey to leave.

No, he _wanted_ him to leave.

And so, Donnie threw his weight forward, diving towards the end of the mattress. It creaked as the headboard rattled from the disturbance, but the glass cup tilted and fell to the ground. An ear piercing ring echoed through the air as the glass scattered out in a million pieces; just like his thoughts.

"Whaddya' even do-"

Casey's breath was caught in his throat as Donnie threw the plate across the room, smashing against the bookshelf. Then with unsteady hands he clutched the tray and held it out in front of him, his eyes gleaming with rage.

"Leave unless you want a face full of metal," he growled at him.

Dropping his jaw in utter shock, he scratched the back of his head. Donnie could see his dimwitted friend struggling to comprehend such words, which only grounded against his nerves even more. It was a simple request, yet Casey shook his head and folded his arms.

"What's your problem?"

Donnie's patience was wearing thin. He wasn't exactly sure what he was cooking up in that small brain of his, but no doubt, Leo must've put him up to it. Or Raph, when he thought about it. He was quite sure, but he was sure that his brother told his best friend to pull some sort of prank on him.

Moments passed as he had pondered on such thoughts, and he had realized that he was just so sick of even humoring him. He grounded his teeth together and narrowed his eyes at him from behind the tray.

"I'll give you exactly four seconds, and if you are not out that door, I'll knock more of your teeth out. Now leave."

The gears whirred at a much higher speed, struggling to hold on for dear life. Instead of moving towards the door, Casey inched closer to him, his eyes wide with concern. Donnie could literally feel the rage propelling the gears to the their top speeds at his defiant action.

He wasn't playing.

Exactly four seconds passed and Donnie used the little strength he had to push himself off the bed. Then stumbling forward, he put his weight behind the tray as he cut the air with the flat side of it, hoping to bash him in the face.

A jolt shot up his arm as the punk blocked the blow and grappled onto the metal. His face twisted with surprise and confusion as he watched the turtle struggle to keep his hold on the tray.

"Bro, will you knock it off!" he barked as he jerked the tray from his grip.

Casy then cast it aside and it struck the ground, clattering from the impact. Stealing a glance at his hands, Donnie's face went red with the heat of his fury, steam nearly rising from the top of his head. His left eye began to twitch, spasming out of control.

He couldn't take it anymore.

No one would leave him be.

As he lifted his arm up to throw a swing at the vigilante, he felt the room spin. His swung threw him off course, and so, he staggered to the right with his feet catching on a broken radio. A sharp sting shot right up his foot, causing a cry to escape from his lips. Pieces rolled out from underneath him as he jerked his leg upwards.

Why, oh why, was this happening to him?

Trying his hardest to recover his footing, he felt Casey's fingers brush against his arm. He instantly jerked away and lost his balance once more. A throbbing sensation pulsed through his skull as the gears locked into place. It was then that everything went fuzzy, causing a moment of unclarity.

Everything felt so wrong and he had lost control of himself.

Out of fear, he scrambled forward and collapsed against his book shelf. He clung to it for support as dark blotches filled his sight. It was hard for him to stand, since his body felt so weighed down. So heavy.

"Look Donnie, you need to relax. I'm not goin-"

"WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?" he screeched, throwing an arm back to push him away.

Then, another wave of fatigue hit him. Hard. The gears had long ceased their movements, so one by one, the switches were disengaging. His mind was literally shutting down from the lack of energy. As his body began to tremble, he struggled to hold onto the shelves; too weak to even hold his own.

Donnie couldn't even remember the last time he had a full night's sleep. Everything was so foggy as his knees wobbled, knocking together. Something felt off, because he hadn't heard the door creak. But, he felt his conscience struggling to active.

Suddenly out of nowhere, a soft hand rested against his shell, and he could feel hot breath on his cheek. Instead of reacting, Don merely slumped his shoulders in defeat. There was no way he could possibly drive him back now. Ideas weren't even entering his mind at this point.

"Look Donnie, you really need ta' sleep. I'm not going to hurt you, so let's just walk back to the bed, okay?" he stated, in low, calm breaths.

Then with a strong grip, Donne felt him tug at his arm. Once he had let go of his book shelf, Casey used his other arm to support him. The broken plate scraped against his foot as he slid to the left, but the bandages kept his skin from getting cut. He wasn't even quite sure why he threw the plate in the first place when he stepped over the slice of pizza.

However, the thought was soon long forgotten. He could hear Casey's ragged breath in his ear as he strove to keep him standing.

"Once you lie down, I'll clean the mess up and leave. Will that make ya' happy?" he asked in a gentle voice, trying to keep him calm.

Donnie didn't utter a single word of response as he allowed Casey to drag him back to the bed. Honestly, he couldn't even think of one. Though, he really did want him to leave. He really did want to be left alone.

Ultimately, he had wanted to keep working on his invention.

The invention he destroyed.

The fleeting thought caught him by surprise, but yet, he decided not to act upon it. At this point, he was just so exhausted; tired of everyone and everything. Though, instead of fighting it, he would just give in. He would have the chance later to get them back, well, possibly. Not that it mattered anymore.

Avoiding the glass shards surrounding the bed, Casey helped lowered him on the bed. Donnie refused to look at him as he threw his weight back, his shell sinking into the mattress. He turned his head towards the wall, so that he wouldn't have to look at him. A sight full of dull, grey stone was much more appealing to him.

But suddenly, he heard pounding at his door, causing him to tense up. Fear popped into his head as mind was shutting down to sleep. Ugly thoughts floated on by, causing his body to shiver in response.

The reinforcements had arrived.

"Casey are you alright in there? Is Donnie alright?" Raph's voice called from behind the door.

Donnie sucked in a shallow breath as he listened to the rapid banging. Why wouldn't they leave him in peace? They had done enough damage. As he eased out a steady flow of air, Casey stared down at him with wide eyes.

He gulped and turned to face the door. Then mustering up a steady voice, he shouted, "Yeah, we're fine. I'll be out soon, so just stay put!"

Within a matter of seconds, the noises had ceased, allowing Don to relax once more. Maybe Casey wasn't so bad after all, but then again, maybe this was a ploy to trick him. As he tried to even comprehend the situation, he felt the last switch flip, and his eyelids grew heavy. They lowered ever so slowly, and he felt fatigue wash over him in one last wave before succumbing to sleep.

* * *

Leo felt on edge, his instincts screaming at him to go in there. He heard loud noises and shouting, so he feared for Casey and Donnie. Mainly for Donnie. However, he couldn't trust himself to go in there.

No, he didn't want to go in there.

He was afraid of hurting his brother again. Sure, he had beaten the snot out of him during training in the past, but he had never knocked him out and hurt him in such a way. What he had done was wrong, and he was sure his sensei would have disapproved.

As much as he chastised himself for thinking in such a way, the guilt would not seep away. He had to bear with the remorse until he knew for a fact that Donnie would be alright. In the end though, he wasn't quite sure if he would ever be.

Silently cursing himself for not noticing his decline sooner, Leo suddenly snapped out of it once he heard that familiar creak. Casey's head popped out of the small gap between the door and the frame, but his eyes heavy with concern. The vigilante eased himself out of the room, but kept his finger close to his lips.

Then in a soft whisper, he said, "Raph, can you get me a broom and a dustpan? We had a little accident in here when Donnie went apeshit on me."

Leo's indigo eyes grew wide, and clutched onto his vest. "You didn't hurt him, did you?" he growled menacingly under his breath.

Casey pushed his hands away and straightened himself. "No, I didn't. He tried to hurt me though. You were right, he has gone off the deep end."

"What happened then?" Leo asked in a heavy voice, wanting to cut to the chase.

"Well, he got really tired and I helped him into bed. So, that solves the sleeping part of the problem, but he doesn't really trust me…"

 _Great_ , Leo thought bitterly once he had heard enough of Casey's explanation. Then turning away, he rubbed his cheeks with his hands as he tried to figure out what to do next. There really was no real way of going about it.

Donnie was just out of his reach. He had no idea how to deal with these kinds of things, and obviously no one around here knew how either. As he wallowed in his thoughts, he pulled out the crumbled paper he had taken from his room and glanced at it once more.

Honestly, he just thought it was a spell of depression. The very same spell he and the rest of his brothers had gone through. Everyone had something broken within them after that fateful day, but the thing that broke within Donnie was his most precious thing.

A thing he had known nothing about.

Suddenly, something clicked. There was someone that could help. Someone that had some form of expertise. Though, he wasn't quite sure if he should even rely on them. After all, he had promised himself not to involve them anymore; that they had done enough.

However, he didn't have a choice. The very last of his rope was slipping from his hands, and Leo needed her. No, Donnie needed her. He needed her more than anyone.

And so, Leo picked his feet up and marched towards the dojo so that he could be alone with his thoughts. He had to plan it out carefully for the sake of his brother.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** **Well, I hope you all enjoyed this installment. I really feel like I outdid myself this chapter. Things are starting to fall into place and I actually was quite happy with this chapter. The reason why Casey handled it as well as he had, was because I have a head canon that his dad often goes on drunken rants, so he knows how to handle people when they go apeshit. XD, but yeah. I seriously cannot thank you all enough for supporting me, and I hope to get the next chapter out soon.**

 **Also, shout out to Poetique-Justyce! If you haven't read yet, I highly recommend "Logic of the Soul". She does an amazing job with bringing her characters to life and the fic contains plenty of sweet B-Team moments. It's one of my favorite fics! Thanks again everyone. ^.^**


	7. Chapter 7

Standing beneath the tree, Leo focused in on the silence. In one hand, he gripped the paper he took from Donnie's room, and in the other, he had his T-phone. Anxiety creeped onto him, weighing him down.

Why was he hesitating?

Just outside of Donnie's bedroom, he had settled on doing this.

But now, he was having second thoughts. Inhaling deeply, his fingers squeezed the paper tighter, causing it to crinkle. It disrupted his flow of thought, and so, he lifted up the cell. He needed to get it over with already. Donnie needed this. What other choice did Leo have?

His face settled on a scowl, disappointed in himself. Then tucking the wad of paper into his belt, he sighed and punched in a few numbers into the T-phone. Should he just outright ask, or should he ease into it?

What did it matter? Either way he was only calling them because he needed them, not to have a conversation. Biting into his lower lip, he finished off typing a message and sent it off. All that was left to do was to wait. Though, he had done enough waiting around. He should have been there for Donnie when he needed him most.

 _It's too late now…_

Hanging his head, he thought about other possible options in case this backfired on him. However, he kept drawing a blank. How was he supposed to fight against something he knew nothing about? If he kept prodding him, Leo would surely make it worse for his brother. His eyes began to cloud with sadness at the realization, causing him to chew at his lower lip.

No, he needed to stay strong; no more wallowing in pity like he had before.

Suddenly, his phone vibrated in his hands, sending a shiver down his shell. Fumbling with his fingers, he quickly accepted the call and jerked the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" he said, drawing out the 'o'.

" _Hey, Leo"_

"Hey...April…" Leo replied, trying to hide the awkwardness in his voice.

The other line went silent. He wondered if this was a bad time, but he didn't wonder long as he listened to the sound of shuffling.

" _Umm, so what's up?"_

He shifted his weight between his feet and thought about it carefully. In the end, he might as well come out with it. Then rubbing his neck, he glanced upwards towards the leaves and exhaled.

"Well, where should I begin?"

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Hey everyone. I know this is an extremely short chapter, but I felt like this transition should have its own thing. But I have chapter 8 pretty much ready to go and I'll update that shortly.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes: Hey everyone! I know it's been about a month since I've last updated anything. I want to apologize for that. What happened was that I took an 18 week course in 6 weeks. (Mini-mesters are difficult) Well anyways, during the last three weeks the workload became really heavy, so I had to set my fics aside in order to keep my grade at an A.  
**

 **Though, I will say I've learned a lot from the class, and I'm positive that it helped me grow as a writer. Also, I want to thank BelatedBeliever for checking over this chapter and chapter 7. If you ever get the chance, I recommend her fics. She's amazing!**

 **Well, thank you all of being patient! Happy Reading! ^.^**

* * *

Within the darkness of his room, Donnie laid in his small little spot in the mattress. He had woken up, the gears not quite turning, but he had slept at least. As he tried to think of his next move, his stomach growled, causing him to grimace slightly. He shifted his weight a little and tucked his knees closer to him. The springs in his mattress creaked and adjusted to him, but either way, he felt miserable.

He was always miserable.

His stomach continued to churn in hunger, but he pressed it aside. Donnie didn't want to leave his room, and honestly, he wasn't quite sure if he had the energy to. Within his mind, the gears turned ever so slightly, but his thoughts were a bit hazy.

How long had it been?

No, it didn't matter. Time was useless to think about at this point.

A weak cackle escaped from his dry, parched throat. Donnie couldn't even recall the last time he had something to drink. _Just another thing to add to the list..._ Another stab of hunger emitted from the pit of his stomach, and that was it. He had to get up. He wouldn't let his brothers push him around like this.

He didn't want to be a prisoner in his own room anymore.

Tossing over, he slowly slid his legs to the side until they hung off the mattress, then firmly planted to the floor. Donnie pressed himself up with his arms and leaned forward. His head felt heavy with his shoulders aching.

How long had he laid in that position?

Stifling a groan of pain, he tried to lift himself up off the bed, only to slip and fall back into it. The gears locked in place for a moment, and he pressed a palm against his forehead. Why was this so hard for him? What did he ever do to deserve this?

All he wanted was to work on his inventions.

 _Who gives a damn about that now?_ he thought bitterly, gazing into his bandaged hands. Wait, why were his hands bandaged? After a moment of staring at his hands, it slowly came back to him. The gears began to rotate again in response.

Then it hit him. He hadn't changed them in a while after tearing them up with that dirty metal. Did he have the sense to at least disinfect them before wrapping them up? Though, why was he even wondering this? Of course he did. Why wouldn't he?

Why were there so many 'whys'?

Cursing lightly between his teeth, he turned his attention towards the door. He really wanted to leave. But, the moment he thought about it, he knew that would mean facing his brothers. They were the last people he wanted to see.

Maybe he was just a prisoner in his own room. Perhaps that was their goal all along. To torment him and confine him; just to punish him for being the weak one. After all if only he had-

No, he needed to focus.

The gears went up another notch, causing his eye to twitch slightly. A heavy breath escaped his lips and he rested his arms against his legs. He sat there for a moment, letting thoughts pass through. Occasionally he'd pick at one, then let it flow by.

It was a little easier to think now that he had slept, but he still felt awful. His joints ached and his stomach continued to protest in hunger. Donnie tried his hardest to ignore it, but he couldn't remember when he last ate.

Then again, how long had he been locked away in here?

 _Dammit all…_

Just as he turned his attention to the door, he heard a slight snicker. Immediately, his already pained stomach tightened, and so, he hunched forward. The gears stuttered for a moment, then wound up even faster.

There was a knock at his door, followed by another snigger. He recognized Mikey's obnoxious voice, and he twisted his face in a grimace. Mikey was one of the _last_ people he wanted to see. After all, he and Raph had started this mess, and _he_ was the one that _drugged him._

But before Donnie could tell him to go away, light seeped into the room. The bright light burned, so he squinted, keeping his eyes from watering.

"Hey bro...I brought food."

He jerked his head away and listened to Mikey laugh at his pitiful existence. Donnie refused to look at him as he tensed up his body. Anger boiled to the surface, and his eye twitched at a faster pace.

"Uhhh, well...I'll just leave it here."

Not even turning his attention towards him, Donnie listened as the door creaked shut. Mikey's laughter echoed down the hall, but he ignored it. The scent of pepperoni caught his attention, and so, he looked towards the door.

A tray laid on the ground with a few slices of pizza and a glass of water. He knew he shouldn't trust it; for all he knew Mikey could have drugged it, but he was so hungry. Man, he really was a prisoner here in his room, all because of how pathetic he was.

* * *

Things seemed so dreary, dark, and empty in the lair. What was once full of life, was now bitter and quiet. Leo's footsteps pattered against the stone walls as he paced next to the pool of water. His heart weighed heavy- so heavy that he couldn't sit still the meditate.

Honestly, he wondered if his father felt this way often. Waiting. Waiting for hope. Waiting for things to get settled.

Leo felt so impatient.

This was his last shot to make things right.

Turning on his toes, he leaned over the still water and gazed down at his reflection. His indigo eyes looked so dull, and his face looked so worn, even more so with the thin line of scars. As he stared down at the water, his sight trailed off towards the edges of the water, and noticed that slime was beginning to form up against the wall. He wondered how long it had been since someone even used the pool, much less cleaned it.

Sighing, he tore his eyes away and rubbed at his face.

He was tired of waiting. Heck, he wasn't even able to sleep last night, because every minute pained him.

But just as he was about to walk towards the dojo in hopes of calming his nerves, he honed in on the sounds of footsteps. Very familiar footsteps at that. Rushing towards the entrance, he watched as April hopped over the turnstiles and met with him, face to face.

Relief spread through him in calming waves, and so, he mustered up a smile. His lips, however, clamped shut and he couldn't help but spread his arms out. She returned his smile and hugged him, but Leo felt how stiff and tense she felt. It was then, he felt so awkward.

Maybe he shouldn't have called her here.

 _No, forget it. You did the right thing._

Inhaling deeply, he rolled his shoulders and glanced towards the ground. He tried his hardest to keep the smile, but in the end, it faded as he looked back up at her.

"It's good to see you, April," he stated, trying to be as earnest as he could.

"Likewise, Leo."

Then as he was about to beckon her down to the pit, he saw Mikey jogging across the center. He rushed over to April and clung to her.

"April! I didn't know you were coming!" Mikey exclaimed as he hugged her tighter.

"Hey Mikey, and yeah, Leo called me. Something about an emergency and…" She paused for a moment and looked around. Leo watched as she scanned the room, taking in the sights of dust and broken objects. Pushing away from Mikey, she walked towards Donnie's lab and noticed the door. "So uh...where is Donnie? I don't see Raph either…"

"Well, Raph's off with Casey...and well, Donnie is in his bedroom."

Pressing a hand against his shoulder, she gave him a comforting smile.

"Okay, well I'll go say hi to him."

Mikey stepped in her way and spread his arms out wide, blocking her view towards the bedrooms. His brows scrunched together and his mouth formed a thin line.

"Uh, not a good idea. Let's just say he wasn't a happy camper when I brought him food," he said, his voice teetering with uncertainty.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

Now, it was Leo who placed a hand on her shoulder. He gave her a stern, yet worried look. There was almost a childlike plea etched onto his face as he tried to fight back the doubt.

"Look April, it's a long story, so let's sit down and talk about it."

As Leo explained the situation, along with Mikey acting out a few parts, he could see April's blue eyes widen with astonishment. It was as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and every now and then, she would shake her head.

"So now, he won't leave his room," Leo stated gravely.

"...Now I see why you wanted me to bring Dad."

"Well, you did say your dad worked in this field, so I thought he could-"

"Hate to tell you this, but I wasn't able to convince Dad to come along. He doesn't want anything to do with the city. Heck, he was nervous about me coming here," she replied, rolling her eyes at the last statement.

Leo's heart skipped a beat, and he clenched his hands into tight fists. Of course it wouldn't be easy. Nothing ever is. However, it was still a good thing April came at least. If anyone could help Donnie, she could.

"April, do you think you could bring him back...like the time you brought Sensei back?"

The question caught her off guard as she glanced down at her hands. She fiddled with her thumbs, then licked her lips.

"I dunno Leo, the thing is...what you two describe to me sounds like a mental illness. Like schizophrenia, but maybe not. His brain chemicals are off and I don't-"

"Can't mental illnesses be cured? Like a pill or some kind of therapy. Are you sure you can't convince your dad to come help him?" he interrupted, his voice struggling to hide his desperateness.

Only, April shook her head sullenly, her face apologetic.

"It's not that simple. Mental illnesses can be _treated_ , but not _cured_. Especially if we are dealing with schizophrenia. Though, he seems more aware than a schizophrenia patient."

"But he was fine up until that incident. Are you sure he can't be cured?" Leo pressed. He refused to believe it.

"The thing about mental illnesses is that they usually reveal themselves at a person's most stressful part of their life. More specifically, in their late teens or early twenties…"

The air felt so thick with tension, so suffocating. How was he going to deal with this now? He couldn't just accept this as Donnie's fate.

"But your dad-"

"Look, we won't have a way to even test Donnie. He's a mutant. A mutant turtle. His brain composition could be completely different than mine or yours. As far as what meds to give him, well, we wouldn't know. Dosage would be a tricky thing as well."

Then that was it. Leo hung his head and struggled to keep his eyes from welling up with tears. He was all out of options. No, this couldn't be it. There had to be a way!

 _Donnie._

Leo could feel his hands tremble as he clenched them even tighter. He couldn't believe he let this go on. Then without a word, he pulled out the wad of paper and stretched it out. It made crinkling noises, and it was hard to smooth out completely. But when he was satisfied, his eyes scanned over the sloppy paper, threatening to tear up.

April leaned in towards him, and so, he lifted his head up and passed it to her.

"Please April, at least try and help him. If- if anyone could bring him back, it could be you. You're my last option, and I don't want this to end badly because of my neglect."

She took the paper from him, her face twisting with uncertainty. April didn't respond to his words, just looked at the paper for herself.

Leo watched as her eyes scanned it over again and again, her hands trembling.

" _It's all my fault. If only I could have been stronger. If only I hadn't gotten in the way. It's my fault Leo was hurt, taking a huge loss against the fight...It's my fault that Father was killed. Only because I couldn't do a damn thing right. My machines are useless. Mikey and Raph have been on my case lately…I bet they hate me now…"_

He listened as her voice quivered the final words, before faltering out. Though there was nothing left to say, since the rest of it was illegible. She handed him back the note and wiped away the moisture in her eyes.

Mikey grabbed her hands, and squeezed them tight- to offer some sort of comfort.

"Please, April," Mikey whined, even more pleading than Leo had been.

"I'll try...for him…" she whispered, only, there was a tone of doubt hidden in her voice.

* * *

Downing the last sip of water, Donnie looked back towards his door. Honestly, he was still hungry, but he couldn't stand the thought of rummaging through the kitchen. It could be a trap. A trap he didn't want to walk blindly into.

Seeping into his room, he could hear faint whispers and laughter. Though, something felt different about the sounds. They weren't the usual noises that his brothers would make. What were they up to?

He held his breath as the gears stuttered on their mounts, the confusion seeping through the cracks.

What had he done now?

Donnie felt so tense and nervous. There was a shuffle on the other side of the door, followed by a soft series of knocks. They weren't the brutish knocks that Raph and Mikey had. No, they seemed feminine and light. Precise, even.

The gears suddenly locked into place, fearful of what was to come. What were they trying to pull now? Were they baiting him to come out? Were they about to torture him and belittle him? His head began to spin from heap of questions piling up

Then, the knocks sounded again, only, they were more deliberate. There was a sense of urgency behind them, and the voices ceased.

In response, Donnie slid back towards the headboard and curled himself up against the corner. His reddish-brown eyes locked onto the door, waiting for something to happen. It was only a matter of time and he felt so helpless.

Once more, the knocks sounded again, nearly a pounding. But within a split second, the sound vanished, only to replace with a small creak. Light slowly began to seep into the bedroom, and so, Donnie wrapped his arms tighter around his legs. The gears began to rotate, picking up new speeds.

Though, they jerked for a second, struggling to hold on as he noticed that the door only opened to just a crack. What exactly were they trying to pull? This was a new to him, and he felt so anxious as his heart rate soared.

"Donnie?" a feminine voice called from the light.

His breath caught in his chest. Had he heard right? He wasn't delusional, was he?

Could it really be?

"A-april?" he whispered, breath shaky.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: I hope these last two chapters were worth the wait! I'm starting to wrap things up and we're getting closer to the end. I can't thank you all enough for the support and feedback I've gotten. Seriously, I can't thank you enough. It means so much to me. Y'all are helping me become a better writer with your feedback, because I seriously appreciate it.  
**

 **Well, I'll try to get the next update out soon. Thanks again~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes: Hey everyone! So I finally have another update for y'all! ^.^ I apologize for how long it's been, but I hope that this chapter was worth the wait. It was a pretty fun one to write, and I'm getting closer to the end. So hold on tight, it's gonna be one heck of a ride. Happy reading ^.^  
**

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"April?" Donnie asked again, nearly breathless.

He leaned forward and planted his palms into the mattress. The door slowly came inward, allowing more light to spill into the room. Even though it hurt his eyes, he kept them wide open.

The light illuminated her outline, and he couldn't bring himself to believe it. He had to be dreaming. At the thought, he pinched himself and winced. Nope, this was definitely real. His jaw lowered as he watched her step further into the room.

"Hey, Donnie."

"H-hey…"

She was just as gorgeous as he remembered. No, she was even more so. Her beautiful red hair was tucked into a cute bun, and she wore a yellow blouse with a pair of black jeans. Each step was graceful as she made her way through.

Then before he knew it, she was by his bed, gazing down at him. He beamed back up at her, and brushed some water away from his eyes. Silence filled the air, since he didn't know what to say. This was a gift, her presence, to say the least.

April shifted her weight and sat down next to him. Donnie immediately noticed how stiff she was- almost mechanical. There was also this foreboding look of concern etched on her freckled face. This was too good to be true.

She wasn't really there, was she?

Wait, he had already confirmed that he wasn't sleeping.

Was he hallucinating?

His head began to feel heavy, and so, he began to rub his temples. There was something within his gut pulling at him, and the gears had moved at a slow, steady pace, seemingly forgotten. He began to think of things to say, but what was the point? This must be a hallucination of some sort.

Then it hit him. Did Mikey actually drug his food? Well, how could he? Donnie never showed him any of the potent drugs in his supply; he couldn't trust him with it. Unless, Mikey randomly dumped something into his food. _That seems plausible, actually. Though, my mouth isn't dry and I don't feel nauseous._

"So…" April said, fidgeting slightly.

At the sound of her hesitant voice, Donnie was torn from his thoughts. His eyes locked with hers, and deep down, he really wanted this to be real. But the fact remains, why would she even be here? She left for college.

She left to lead her own life-she left him alone.

April needed to get her life together, and so, he broke his ties with her.

As he thought about it, he remembered how bitter he was. How hurt he was. The useless mutant who couldn't do anything, not even bathe in the sunlight freely, couldn't possibly love her.

So, he was left all alone. All alone in this family that hates him-

All because of his weakness.

"Donnie?"

Once more, he turned his focus back onto her. She waved her hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention. Wait, how long had he been sitting there in his own thoughts? Well then again, did it really matter? This clearly wasn't real, or was it?

He gulped down some air and forced a smile.

"Uh...yeah?" he replied hesitantly.

"Are you alright? You seem kind of spacy," April asked him, cocking an eyebrow.

Licking his lips, he looked away and back down at his hands. How should he answer her? Was he really alright? Better yet, how can one _define alright_? In a sense, no he wasn't alright. Nothing was alright.

Though, should he tell that to her? Was there a point in lying to a hallucination?

 _Screw it._

Donnie looked back towards her face and bit into his lower lip. He stayed silent for a split second before inhaling deeply. "No, I'm not _alright_. I can never be with _them_ around."

At his response, April cringed as an unsettled look appeared on her face. She fidgeted in her spot once more, causing the bed to creak underneath them.

Wait, could hallucinations make objects move? Was he actually talking to the _real_ April?

His stomach churned at the possibility, and so, the gears began to turn. They grinded against each other in an unnerving way, causing his head to throb. This really couldn't be her.

She had left them.

She had left _him._

The muscles in his arms began to tremble as he clenched his fingers into a fist. Bile rose up into his throat and he choked it down, feeling the searing sensation. It radiated through his chest, though he couldn't look away from her.

April looked at him, her eyes piercing right through him. Judging him. Probing him. Why was she even here? Donnie tried to swallow down some more air, but he couldn't fill his lungs. The gears grinded- creaking within his head. Everything was breaking down.

What had he done to deserve this?

Suddenly, he felt April's soft hand on his cheek. He recoiled from the touch as he fought his hand back. No, he couldn't hit her. Anyone but her. No matter what, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Donnie, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

His facials began to tremble as he struggled to control himself. What else could he do? Every thought eluded him, and the gears just wouldn't stop. His heart pounded against his plastron relentlessly as Donnie felt the heat flared back up in his chest.

Then April reached out towards him again, the color leaving her face. "Donnie, I-"

"No! Stay back," he cried, scrambling backwards.

"Please-"

"Stop! How do I know you won't?" His eyes went wide, pupils shrinking. Every muscle spasmed, and his breathing quickened. "How do I know you won't, when you shouldn't even be here?"

She retracted her fingers and licked her lips. A moment passed, nothing but sounds of his ragged breathing. Her eyes searched his, but he wouldn't let her near. Not like this, at least.

 _No, not like this._

Donnie waited for her to say something, anything. Why was she there? Why wouldn't she say anything? Again with all the 'why's. So many 'why's, yet not enough answers.

Just like his _machine._

As he tucked his knees closer to him, she leaned inwards. He watched as she tried to form words with her mouth, but nothing was coming out. Honestly, Donnie couldn't quite grasp it. Was she speaking, or were the gears within his mind too loud?

 _If only the cranking would stop!_

 _If I only I could stop!_

The moment the thought drifted through his mind, it got caught in a gear. Another throbbing sensation followed, and he buried his face into his knees, gripping his head tight.

"Donnie, look at me. What's wrong?"

No, he didn't want to listen to her.

"Look, I'm trying to help you," April pleaded, her voice distraught.

He curled up even tighter, refusing to bend to her. For all he knew, Leo could have put her up to this. Actually, he didn't want to think about it. Anything, but that. Donnie cared for her, but yet, she couldn't possibly care for him.

Not after what he had done.

It was his fault, and he couldn't deny that.

A useless freak; the one who tore their family apart. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he the gears pressed into each other. They bended, creaking and grinding, about to break off their mounts. As he tried so hard to hold on, he felt the bed shift underneath him. He jerked, lifting his head only to meet her eyes.

Brilliant blue, brimming with water.

 _Why on Earth is she on the brink of tears?_

In fact, why was she even this close to him. Dangerously close at that.

Before Donnie could shield himself within his knees again, she cupped his head. He tried to squirm away, but she held onto him tight. As she drew nearer, he could feel her hot breaths as they brushed against his cheeks.

Anger, confusion, joy, and so much more, churned within him. They spilled over and rose upwards, but he wanted to break free so badly. Though, he couldn't risk hurting her. No, anyone but her.

He destroys everything; he couldn't allow himself to break her.

His eyes went wide at the realization, but before he could open his mouth, she tilted his head upwards. April then knitted her brows together as her face settled, concentration taking hold.

 _What is she do-_

Suddenly, he felt a warm pulse shoot through every cell within him. Light flashed behind his eyes, and for a second, the gears stuttered. And then for a moment, things seemed clear. So brilliant-so free. When he inhaled, the gears creaked again, resuming their motion.

An agonizing cry escaped from his lips, and he tried to pull away. His heart threatened to burst from his chest.

"Sto-"

Apil pressed her fingertips against his temples firmly, her eyes searching within his again. "Donnie, please...let me do this."

She didn't give him time to respond as another wave coursed through him. It felt wonderful, and memories stirred within him. They flowed through his mind, washing over the gears.

But as the sensation faded, he saw flashes of blood, then bits of flying metal. Sounds of screaming echoed after. He wanted to tear away from it, but he couldn't bring himself to. It pulled at him, nearly drowning him.

 _Who's screaming?_

He listened in, panic rising. Another wave came through, but this time it _burned_ ; it sent a scorching heat right into him, and water filled his eyes. Then the screaming grew louder, nearly deafening him.

But then he realized it was his own screams. It was _him._ On that night.

This time, he tried to pull away, but it was futile. He couldn't look away from her eyes, and the only comfort he felt was her soft palms pressed against his skin. She had tears streaming down her own cheeks, her eyes redding by the second. Though he couldn't hear her, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Then once more, he felt the energy-only this time, he could feel April. He could feel her presence within.

The warm bliss immediately returned, chasing away everything else. Memories kept spilling inwards, keeping the gears within their place. He felt a sense of security flooding him as he saw all the joy and laughter that passed on by. The familiar faces of love, from his father and brothers, flashing in front of him.

For once in a long, long time, he felt complete. But yet, he felt so empty deep down.

There was a reality he needed to face-a very harsh one. Honestly, he wasn't ready, but as he came to his senses, he could feel April move back. Her fingers slowly brushed his cheeks as she let him go. Some sort of relief spread on her face, but her eyes were still bright red, water continuing to spill.

"A-april-" Donnie choked on his words, a sob breaking free.

He tried to lift his arms, but they flopped downwards. Nothing was responding, and he could feel a tiresome ache weigh him down. An ache that had refused to leave, but yet, he could still feel the warmth lingering.

However, April remained motionless, her eyes watching him carefully. He knew exactly why, though. Everything became clear to him. Not only that, his mind was actually silent, except for his calculating thoughts. They had always been there, just, he couldn't reach them before.

Now he could.

And he was disgusted with himself for it. Disgusted for everything and regretting all of it. After all, it was always him, and he wasn't able to stop it.

At that realization, he felt all the things he had repressed spill over, along with everything he had been blind to. He couldn't help it, but yet, he should have known. He was a genius after all...At least, she was there. At least, he wasn't _alone_ at that moment.

He gasped out another cry and continued to sob.

"I-I'm so," he gulped down some air, "s-sorry."

"Shhh" was all he heard as she wrapped his arms around him. She felt so soft, and her floral scent brought some comfort.

"No, I'm the one that's sorry. But, I'm here now...Everyone is," April whispered in his ear.

He remained silent, not knowing what to say. However, he readjusted himself so that his weight wouldn't completely press down on her. Then his eyes wandered towards his door, which was wide open. He saw his oldest brother standing in the doorway with Raph and Mikey behind him. They all looked at him, crying tears of relief. This only made his stomach tighten as he pressed his face into April's shoulder, trying to stop the flood of emotions.

But then in that moment, he could feel the gears wanting to turn...

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 **Author's Notes: Well, I hope that was worth the wait after all. I seriously did have fun with this chapter. However, I can't thank everyone enough for the support y'all have given me. I do appreciate all the feedback, and each one of you keeps me going. This has been quite an interesting fic to write, and I hope y'all don't hate me for leaving this on a cliff-hanger. However, things are never that easy ;)**

 **Anyways, thanks again everyone! I hope y'all liked it! ^.^**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes: Hey everyone! So I got another update for y'all. I'm sorry about the lack of them lately, but I've been quite busy with RL and other things. However, I do have other fanfics and one-shots I'm working on as well, and I hope to get those posted in the near future. However, I hope y'all will like this update. Happy Reading ^.^**

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Hours had passed, and Donnie remained motionless. Wide-eyed, he stared up at his ceiling from the confines of his bed. All the warmth from earlier seeped away, and he ached all over. He wasn't sure how long he'd laid there, but to be honest, he didn't care.

He just didn't feel like moving…

Then again, he didn't _want_ to be _alone_ either.

His lips trembled, and every joint ached. But again, he couldn't bring himself to move. Donnie just wanted to lay there, contemplating everything that had happened. Everything that had happened because of him and his ill will.

It was funny for him to think about having an ill will. However, was he mentally ill? He remembered all of it–it burned and _ached_ in the back of his skull. Right underneath the inner workings of his thoughts, things cluttered and began piling up.

Donnie sighed, allowing a thin stream of air to pass his dry, cracked lips. It was just too much for him, and he wished his brothers or April hadn't left him alone. After they'd put him to sleep, he woke up with no one by his side. All that was there was a small stream of light coming from his door.

Bitterness swelled upwards and he closed his eyes. As he squeezed them tight, flashes of blood came before him, and his ear piercing screams followed in pursuit. He whipped them back open, and felt the gears wanting to turn.

But no, he needed to stay level headed.

He needed to move.

Mustering up the little strength he had, he pushed himself up with the base of his arms. His biceps trembled, and his neck ached. Every muscle wanted to cramp with excruciating pain. _Ugh, this hurts so much more than it did earlier._

Then as he managed to sit up straight, he felt pain radiate throughout his head. So much pain, and it continued to build up.

"What the hell have I done to myself?" Donnie whispered heavily.

Though, he knew the answer. He'd witnessed all of it, but yet, couldn't stop it. Just like everything else, he wasn't able to do anything. It was all his fault. All of it. He was just a useless freak within–

Stop it. You know that's not true.

He grit his teeth as he dispersed the thoughts. Now wasn't the time for that, and honestly, there was never a time for that. But as he twisted, allowing his legs to hang off the bed, he became more accustomed to the pain.

No, it wasn't nearly as bad as he thought. Though, that was a lie.

A soft chuckle passed his lips as he rolled his shoulders. Everything felt stiff, rigid, and soon enough, he felt the fibers in his muscles stretch as he worked with loosening them. However, he still didn't want to get up, but he couldn't stand being in his room anymore.

Hoisting himself to his feet, he staggered a bit and caught himself before falling into the mess that surrounded him. He looked at the piles of work that laid before him, and he twisted his lips in disgust. His room would need cleaning, but that would have to wait.

Then he looked towards the door. The light seeped inwards, and when he closed his eyes, he heard familiar voices. His family was close by, and perhaps he would go see them. He needed to see them and make things right.

As he turned and made his way across the cluttered room, his legs wobbled, knees threatening to give way. His body had been inactive for way too long, and he wasn't sure how long it would take to recover. But when he reached the door, he stumbled and grappled onto the handle.

Donnie pressed his weight up against it, clutching the door for dear life as he tried to regain his footing. The line shone on him clearly, and he looked down at his body. He saw himself for the first time, what he actually looked like.

He was so weak and _frail_. Thin limbs, scratches and scars, along with worn skin.

What had he done to himself?

Suddenly, there was a faint snicker, followed by joyus voices. Then another giggle. Then a burst of laughter.

His eyes grew wide as his mouth hung open. The throbbing within his temples grew violent, and the gears creaked within their locked positions. While he was struggling with pain, his family were off having fun.

Bitterness caught within his throat as he choked down the bile. He was alone, and they were having a good time. They didn't really care-

 _No! Focus._

As he fought with himself, he held firmly to the door for support. Should he go see them after all? _Maybe I shouldn't…_

He glanced back towards his bed, releasing his hold onto the door. His legs trembled as he tried to turn back. However, a surge of pain emitted from the back of his skull, and so, he fell to ground with a hard thump.

A jolt shot through his body, and a weak cry passed his lips. As he lay on the floor, he cupped his head, refusing to give in. But the gears, they pressed. Creaking, beginning to grind. His jaw clenched tightly and pressed his fingers into his skull.

"Donnie!" Mikey's panicked voice called. "Leo, I need your help in here!"

The next thing Donnie knew, two sets of strong hands were lifting him up. His weight was eased up, and he felt the floor beneath his toes.

"Are you okay? Did you hit anything?" Leo asked as he glanced over him.

"Ngh- I'm fine. Just, I don't want to be in here anymore," Donnie whined out.

"Alright. Mikey, let's take him into the living room."

Donnie shifted his weight between his brothers, and the throbbing refused to cease. His head felt so heavy; his pain was nearly suffocating. As they made their way down the hall, his feet were scraping against the cold, harsh stone.

He recalled the laughter, but as he looked up and saw Raph and April, their faces were solemn, heavy even.

Had he _imagined_ it all?

No, he couldn't have. He clearly heard it…but no one looked happy. What was the matter with him? As he struggled to reason with himself, the gears creaked and rattled. Then finally, their locks came undone and they began to rotate. His thoughts piled up, cluttering over them.

He couldn't take it.

He just wanted out…

His breathing became labored as they sat him down on the couch. He sunk within the cushions, and looked up at them pleading eyes. What had he done to deserve this?

Oh right, _he_ was the root of it all.

A soft hand rested upon his, causing him to jump. They were tender fingers, and they gripped his index. He looked to his left and saw April's watery eyes staring at him. To be honest, he couldn't feel his skin against hers, since the bandages were in the way, but he wanted to.

But no, he couldn't break her too.

He remained silent, and his own eyes began to water. The gears slowly turned, and the thoughts kept building and building. Though, he couldn't make sense of it all.

Why was she even here? He didn't deserve her presence.

"Donnie?" Leo asked, his voice weary.

In response, he snapped his head forward and looked up at him. He wasn't sure what he was doing anymore, or why he wanted to be out in the open. The space made him feel uncomfortable, and he couldn't take the constant staring.

"Donnie?" he asked again.

He didn't want to answer. The pressure was too much as the gears kept turning. All he wanted was to be left alone–no, he didn't want to be alone. That was the last thing he wanted, and yet…

April scooted closer to him, tightening her grip. As she leaned in, he felt his heart race. A sudden thought caught in a gear, causing him to cringe. However she didn't back off, and only proceeded further.

She brought both her hands up towards his face. They stopped in the air for a moment as she hesitated. Her eyes watered even more, and she bit into her lower lip. Then she rested her hands against his temples, and Donnie's breath caught in his lungs.

He didn't want to go through _that_ again. No, he didn't want to face it, but he couldn't bring himself to move.

 _I don't want to be alone…_

At that thought, warmth seeped into him. It washed over the gears, and swept away the clutter. His eyes went wide, and her floral scent seeped into his nose. As he allowed her presence in, his own eyes welled up with water.

This time, it didn't hurt. No pain, no suffering, only the truth.

His brothers loved him, and he wasn't truly alone.

No, only he really was. His mind–the gears, they're all out of order. And he didn't know how to solve the problem. Then again, was there a problem? There was, but he could fix it. Right?

Another wave coursed through, and finally, the gears came to a halt. His breathing slowed, becoming a smooth cadence. The throbbing seeped away. All that was left were his thoughts, and the clarity that came with it.

She withdrew her hands and gave him a good look before looking towards Leo. He met her gaze, and Donnie watched as the two of them had an unspoken conversation. His other two brothers stood by as well, and Raph eyed him with caution.

 _What is going on? What are they planning?_

Then it was as if Leo read his thoughts. He looked Donnie in the eyes and sat down next to him. His face was set with an authoritative look, showing a decision had been made. A decision Donnie knew nothing about. And frankly, he was scared to find out what it was.

However, Leo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look Donnie, you're really sick. We can keep you down here in the lair anymore, and we need to get you help. April can only do so much–"

"I'm fine. I can figure this out–"

"No, you can't Donnie. Not this time," his voice became increasingly desperate, "Please, rely on us for once. Let us help you."

"Yeah bro, we want to help you," Raph added, his face sincere.

Donnie looked around, shocked and fearful. He didn't want to leave. This was his home. This was where all his work was. And to leave that all behind, and…

No, he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep wallowing in the past.

Water streaked down his cheeks as tears broke free. April leaned in and wiped them from his cheeks. "Donnie, I'm so sorry for leaving when you needed us the most. It's just I-"

"Don't apologize. There's no reason for you too," he said, cutting her off. Guilt stabbed at him, and so, he looked back towards Leo and his brothers. "Actually, it's me that should be sorry. I-I can't even…"

"It's okay. Honestly, I blame myself for not paying more attention to you. I'm sorry we made you feel like… _that_ ," Leo replied in a heavy breath. His face became more sullen, and Donnie wasn't sure what he'd meant.

"That?" Donnie asked as he cocked a brow.

In response, Leo pulled the wad of paper from his belt. Donnie's eyes widened in horror, since he was all too familiar with it. When he couldn't make sense of his thoughts, he tried to scribble them down, and now, his brother had found them.

"So the truth is out?" he asked, gulping down some air.

Leo nodded and put the paper back. "It's okay, Donnie. We are just going to go back to Northampton. Mr. O' Neil will have a look at you, since he refuses to come back to the city. Besides, the fresh air and sunlight will do you some good."

"Yeah, we could have a party and go swimming! We'll make sure that you'll have a good time!" Mikey added in, his excitement welling up.

Donnie mustered up a weak smile. He glanced back towards April, and honestly, he was so thankful to her. He felt her and her entirety. So now, he felt ashamed for how he acted. He felt ashamed for thinking the way he did about her.

She cared about him, and now, he knew that.

And hopefully, he could make things right with her–with everyone.

He looked back towards Leo and dipped his head. The gears stayed where they were, and he knew it wouldn't stay that way. He knew his mind was in a state of chaos, and that turmoil had only been put to sleep. It was only a matter of time before it rose back up, and he knew that.

So he needed to do this for them and himself.

"Alright Leo, I'm in…I just don't want to be alone anymore."

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 **A/N: Well, that happened. ^.^ I hope you guys liked this chapter. The truth is out, and things are coming to a close. It's funny to think that I'm close to completing this. There's only one more installment left, just so that there's closure. Honestly, I can't thank everyone enough for the support y'all have given me. The comments mean a lot, and I can only continue to grow. Anyways, I'll try to get the last chapter out as soon as I can. ^.^ Thanks again!  
**


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